Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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