Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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