Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.

(1-310): View more from California

ewwww. she might as well have a dick.

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(217): View more from Illinois

the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina

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(574): View more from Indiana

all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.

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(207): View more from Maine

making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned

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(614): View more from Ohio

You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"

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(315): View more from New York

I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.

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