Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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