He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.