weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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