Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
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That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap