My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
