Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
