Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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