No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
