I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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