Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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