After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
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I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
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Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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