fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
