You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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