I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
