What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
