the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize