She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
