my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
