You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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