just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
