i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
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I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
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I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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