I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
