it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
