She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize