I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
