Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I could make wine with my vomit
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
