I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
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My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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