whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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