last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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