I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
how drunk are you?
Several
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
