In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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