Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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