Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize