I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize