I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
