Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
