I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
