ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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