ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
