Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
