you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
