You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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