I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
