I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
