ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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