I wish i was in the wii world.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
