Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
