My room smells like vodka and shame
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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