i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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