Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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