Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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