I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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