Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
