The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
