it wasn't lemon gatorade
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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