this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I want her autograph on my taint
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
