My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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