Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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