This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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