If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
