Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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