okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
